As we Australians have learnt this week, when you have nothing, when your life has been destroyed, it is the loved ones you have beside you and the kindness of strangers that will help you through. No matter what the situation is or where it occurs, it is not your possessions, your bank balance or your career that will help pick you up and dust you off. It is those around you.
The same can to be said about living with Chronic Illness. Your doctors are an important part of your “team” but at the end of the day they can only do so much. It is the loved ones you have that rally and carry you through. I have seen it happen time and time again. In fact, it happened to me…..
A couple of years ago, when I was fighting for my life there came a point when the doctors said that there may be nothing more they could do. This was a massive blow, not only to me but to my loved ones. You would think that those words would render you useless but instead my loved ones got started on the business of pulling me through. Whether it was a constant bedside companion, home cooked meals stacked in the freezer, my own pillows brought from home or a collage of family photos stuck to the wall, they were a constant presence, there through every scary moment. It is what I think, ultimately, saved my life. Although, it wasn’t just my loved ones that got me there. The kindness of a few medical staff that went above and beyond their standard responsibilities was a massive support also. These people barely knew me but they cared for me like I was one of their own. Massages, back rubs, shoulders to cry on, books, little presents, snacks…… the list goes on. These natural carers are stars that you definitely want on your “team”. They protect you from the not so nice staff members that you occasionally happen upon and do their absolute best to make you as comfortable as possible. These people are angels. I am so grateful for their help at an extremely difficult time.
It can be really hard for us to reach out for help sometimes. We can be proud and often do not want to be seen as weak but sometimes you receive a blow that is so enormous that you cannot move, you are paralyzed. You are not capable of pulling yourself up…… this is when you need to lean on others. These people are often there before you even realise you need them – often you do not even need to ask for help, they are already there getting on with business. There will be a few times in your life when you will need someone to lean on, there will also be times when you need to be leaned on. Whichever way it goes, remember that we are not defined by what we have or who we think we are, we are defined by the love and support that we give to ourselves and especially to others in their time of need. That is what makes you truly great.
All the best, Lily
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